Am i depressed or is this normal? anyone else feel this way?

Hi- I'm in my mid twenties. Quick background. Strict religious background that basically means you are limited in lots of things association etc etc and dating.

I'm crossing boundaries lately and trying to experiment- however I know if this is found out I will be ostracised.. ( I know this sounds wierd and sect like but hang on for a mo)

I've decline going on dates with great guys due to religion- I've avoided going out to concerts and surfing so that I won't meet people I'm not supposed to meet. Trying hard to do the 'right thing'

I've become so withdrawn to a point where now I avoid people. I used to be fun, bubbly and crazy. I work in engineering-very male dominated environment- and I'm finally looking to get out.

I've been offered position in fashion and have been contemplating whether this is what I want.

I just can't stop crying. Of course I hide this from everyone else. I try to surf often and gym to keep my mind off. It helps a bit but I'm terrifed that I'm heading into deeper depression. I think about death often and different ways- but know I won't do it..

After ages I went for a trance electro concert of an internationally known DJ. I love music- Murphys law I get spotted from the front and asked to come stage- I declined naturally- but my face was in the event times the next evening.



Today I bought some painkillers OTC. I know I won't do it- I feel stuck in something- it makes me feel unwanted and so lonely. I'm bringing this upon myself I know that- I'm trying to get out- but this darkness is swallowing meAm i depressed or is this normal? anyone else feel this way?
You were programmed a certain way as a child and growing up (by your parents?) and you realize the life does not fit you and you aren't happy in it...so now you are forging a new life for yourself in unknown territory. It is only natural that you feel depressed and cry and feel stressed and all of the emotions. Do you ever feel exhilarated when you surf? In transition times in life you feel the gamut of emotions from highs to lows, it's only natural. You are changing and growing and when you are this new person, you'll calm down and feel more sure of yourself.Am i depressed or is this normal? anyone else feel this way?
Trying to avoid views of religion (everyone has their own, just like politics) i am at a loss to understand why you cannot mix with others and accept dates etc. Quite a lot of people who attend church and/or have strong religious beliefs have partners and are happy.



Being in your mid twenties you should be enjoying life to the full. being religious does not mean you should live as a loner UNLESS you want to give your life to the church. Even then, a lot of 'officials in church are indeed married or have partners.

You can still be a good religious person outside church, sometimes better than those within.



Go out and mix with both sexes and enjoy yourself rather than stay at home becoming depressed.

You seem to have a good outlook, so don't let things hold you back.



Cheer up, keep the medication for its proper use.